I‘m not going to feel guilty about forgetting to blog at specific intervals. When I’m compelled, that’s when I’ll do it—As with most things in my life.

Yesterday was the official first day of spring for 2013—As of today, there’s no indication of winter being gone. What a cold, miserable day. Today was my third and final day this week of working over at Profit for Floor Support (meaning a hike from the parking lot to the building), and stupid me wore thick tights, a skirt, and 3.5″ ankle booties. I about sprained my ankle a couple different times, and spacing the whole umbrella thing, I got soaked. Such a spacey, klutz I am. Yesterday I overslept from Benadryl and in my rush to get ready for work, I dropped the flat iron and it slipped over my arm burning both sides. Go me! I’m something else. Here’s a picture… the only thing different is the burn is now a brown/purple color and it looks like it’s going to peel open soon. Ewww.

Work is bleh. I have my qualms, but who doesn’t. I try not to think about it, but every now and then, my bullshit detection meter skyrockets and I have to figure out a way of releasing that pressure—whether through crying in the shower, venting to some poor soul, or sleeping it off. Some things never change. I mostly try to refocus my attention on things that make me feel good… talking to my sisters (over the phone), hanging out with Haidee and her beautiful kiddos, being a nerd with my dog, or just finding little ways to make others smile or be happy. Those are the best moments I think. I can’t measure or quantify a simple act of kindness, but I sure do love the feeling that bursts outward from some place deep within.

I had SWIM orientation this past Monday (Speak With Impact & Motivation). We of course had to stand up among over 40 people and talk about ourselves. I was tongue-tied and stammering like a damn fool. Moments before having to speak, my heart starts pounding and my insides flutter like I’m on the downward slope of a roller coaster’s peak. Like I told the room, what I desire most from this class is to somehow find a way of reconciling the nervous, terrified feeling I get with the exhilarating rush I feel. That seemed to hit home with a lot of people there. My first class starts Thursday, March 28th, and it will continue on until June 20th, Mom’s birthday. Wish me luck!

But, I haven’t painted in over a month. I’m out of supplies and need to get myself to the store to restock. Poetry, on the other hand, has been somewhat fruitful. I always get hit with an idea when I’m doing random stuff, but I try to take the few seconds to save my thoughts in my phone before I forget them. As of now… I’ve started four poems—still incomplete, and have four more ideas saved for later. I’m not sure where my mind has been lately, but I’m having a really hard time buckling down and concentrating on a single task—It’s a tad bit frustrating. Maybe I’m still getting used to working again. Who knows.

The weeks have been flying by though. The weekends seem to come up so fast, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but I always worry about time getting away from me. That’s my thing—worrying about time! I finally went out last weekend with Haidee… I hadn’t been out like that since… her birthday at the end of last summer!! I met her friend Gerren, and my friend James who I met while working at Hooters met up with us at Stir. Besides a little episode at the Hookah bar on Dickson, I had a fantastic time. We started at Jose’s… then migrated to Stir (I had 2 beers at that point, which was probably 1 too many), before we moved on to the Hookah bar. A couple guys from the project team met us out so it turned out to be a random and unexpected night out. I was feeling on another level at some point during the Hookah bar, but that was short-lived. Oh well. At least I felt great after! hahaha We ended the night at Fix where I did a little bit of dancing… and then Haidee went home and crashed with me, and we were OUT. I awoke sore and grandmotherly the next morning, and Haidee and I decided to head over to Onyx for lattes before heading back to spend time outdoors in the sun with my beloved pup, Bella. It was wonderful.

Here it is, another Thursday evening with Friday coming around again. My sister, Dichilyn, is coming in to town from Conway with my darling nephew, TJ… I have a feeling a sisterly reunion will be taking place! Taylor, Dichi, and myself haven’t been in the same room together since Taylor was in the hospital years ago. I can’t believe this is happening! Some more great news… the past couple of weeks I’ve been preoccupied with helping Dichi move back home to NWA. We have a legal battle ahead of us, but I’m convinced good and right things will happen, and I just can’t wait to have my little sisters near me again. I’ve missed them so very much. Incredible.

Life as of Late

When I Bleed, I Bleed Black