Bitch, Don't Kill My Vibe

Good afternoon, you exceptional human beings.

I’ve been having the weirdest dreams lately. You know it’s bad when you wake up and want to fall back asleep to see what else happens in your dream, because your dream life seems so much more fulfilling than reality. It’s not like I’m exactly a kosher person in my dreams either—I have issues across the spectrum of life. And I’m not quite sure what any of it means, if it even means anything. It’s just obvious to me that at a subconscious level, I’m jealous, unsure of myself, mistrustful of the motives of others, unhappy, and too great of a perfectionist to allow myself to progress further in life. I like to pretend otherwise though.

People claim The Law of Attraction really works, and I must say I’ve been testing out that belief ever since dropping my life in Kansas City and moving home to NWA. If you’re not familiar with it, The Law of Attraction basically states that by thinking positively or negatively, you can invite positive or negative circumstances to occur in your life. I can attest that staying positive and generating good energy seems to bring about positive changes more frequently in my life. It’s by no means an easy task to stay positive because that just isn’t my nature, and I won’t lie, I’ve had a few rough patches, but I actively try to minimize those durations—I have to. Is the extra effort to be optimistic in all things worth it? I think so. I’m still here… shuffling along. That’s a good sign, right? Well, unless I’m a zombie. God, I hope not.

But after triple rejections last week which included two positions I actually interviewed for last month (which I felt went extremely well), I received an email around 5pm yesterday stating one of the managers was still very interested in me (the impromptu interview), and that she wanted me to formally apply for the spot online… so I did this morning. I still feel I’m overqualified for these jobs I seem to nab interviews for, and the feedback I’m receiving from senior management level associates tends to agree with me. So why do I continually get dismissed by HR, without even being interviewed, for the more challenging positions that actually do fit my credentials?? Riddle me that. It’s all getting really old and annoying—Fast.

Anyway though, if this manager decides to hire me in the next couple of weeks, I will reluctantly accept—What other choices do I have? A twitter friend told me, “…opportunity knocks once. When it knocks, take hold with both hands till the next opportunity knocks.” -And that is just what I’ll do. I’m not afraid of working hard and proving my value in order to trigger the next best opportunity. I have great confidence in myself to excel and succeed. -But back to the Law of Attraction, my continued positive thinking resulted in a random text today from an old friend I had lost touch with who really needed some help in her office. Nothing is set in stone yet, but she expressed how she was awaiting the Ok to get an assistant for the short-term. It would help me out tremendously during this particular time while I’m in the midst of this job limbo. She’s awesome, and it would be really nice to get to casually work with her for a little while. Like always, please cross your fingers for me!  :-]

Speaking of twitter, I recently tweeted about my so-called quarter-life sabbatical (thanks, Jon Johnson) causing me to be a bit too lenient in my daily diet. My friend, Matt, had jokingly responded: Is it a quarter life, or third life? Way to put it into perspective! I guess I can’t really refer to this ordeal as my quarter-life, can I… Living to be 108 just doesn’t seem realistic—but I guess it’s possible? It’s my THIRD-LIFE crisis turned sabbatical. Third. Ugh. Very humbling! It again reminds me of how precious life is, and how deeply I must invest myself in things and people which make me happy. My third-life could expire tomorrow. Who knows.

While I’m sharing recent interactions with friends, my facebook friend (thanks, Chris!) posted a pretty awesome video on my wall which went perfectly with one of my first blog posts—New Beginnings. The video was so true. It visually summed up my experience in Corporate America. There were so many scenes which mirrored my exact feelings and happenings while working in Kansas City, and I found myself laughing at things which used to piss me off or make me cry. Thank you! I posted a picture my old cubie took of me during one of said horrible, terrible days at work. The resemblance to the video is uncanny… hahaha.

I think I hate my life.
I feel like I’m trapped in someone else’s master plan.
All I’m really doing is dying.

HAHAHAHA. Sooooo very true! Genius!

But, that pretty much sums up my employment prospects. In other news, I just returned from Conway again yesterday. Mom and I took TJ back to my sister’s on Sunday, and the night was spent drinking wine and getting our hair done. My sister had the sparkling red wine version of the white wine I love so much, and I think I may actually prefer that one! You just can’t beat wine that’s $12 and delicious. Mmmmm.

But Dichi gave me some warm caramel highlights, and then chopped 4″ off a layer in the back, along with layering the front for me. I’m pretty happy with it, and can’t wait until the summer, when I can lay out and get a golden tan—I think that will really flatter my new color. Here’s some pictures showing it off—In the trio, the color is a little off and it has an auburn tint, but it’s more of a chestnut brown in person. I love it!

But that’s it for today… Just wanted to share what’s new with me. I have a feeling I’ll start working fairly soon, and who knows how often I’ll be able to blog then. At least when I do start working, my soul will be recharged, and I know not to take things too seriously. It’s just not worth the worry.



Hi there, 2013